#1 Contender

I was playing EA Fight Night 2006 for XBox 360 at Best Buy the other day with my buddy Jon, and I'm pretty sure it has the boxing equivalent of updated rosters, that is the boxers get older. How do I know this? I was playing as Roy Jones, and Jon was using Bernard Hopkins. Since we both have no real idea how to play. I was pretty sure I was going punch for punch with him. In any case, Roy Jones was having the snot beaten out of him every match. We eventually switched controllers to test my theory of "Roy Jones is ass in this game", which proved to be true.

Anyway that really had nothing to do with anything.

The real #1 talk is with the upcoming NBA Draft, where the Raptors have the top pick. (On
a side note: the NHL draft just came and went, did you notice? Neither did I.) What was supposed to be Greg Oden has now become anything. This has lead to grumbling about "DAVID STERN SCREWS TORONTO AGAIN, HOW FAST CAN HE EXPAND AND CONTRACT FROM CANADA?". In any case, let's look at the Raptors possible boob prizes.

1. Andrea Bargnani

As of today, NBADraft.net has listed Bargnani as the Raptor's pick in their mock draft. There is a lot of support to this, after all the Raps hired away Beneton Trevisio's GM to be Coangelo's assistant. Trevisio would be Bargnani's European club. Moreover, Sam Mitchell and Wayne Embry were both sent over to Europe to check the kid out after the lottery. I wish I could comment more on him, but he's a total wild card. All the buzz surrounding him says he has the tools to be a Nowtizki-like player, which is huge. Then again, there was all the hype surrounding Darko, so who knows? (Side Note #2: How does Joe Dumars feel after passing up Wade? Even Carmelo or Bosh?)

Final Take: Neutral


2. Adam Morrison

Before I say anything, let me tell you I've been accused of horrible biases against white basketball players. I don't think I have one, but when you have Keith Van Horn being paraded around as the one-time saviour of the Knicks as well as "The Next Bird", you just don't want to hear about the next Great White Hype (TM). Anyway, Morrison has decent fundamental skills. He's got decent size and speed as well a a good shot. He also took his team quite far in the Tourney. I really don't think diabetes will hold him back. In my opinion, there are two glaring weaknesses to him. First is his emotion. A pro needs to keep it under control. My best example would be the mercurial Kobe. This man can drop 81 one night and in another, just take 3 shots in the second half of a game when the season is on the line. Incredible. Morrison, with his season on the line and a slim, but possible chance to win the game cried like a little girl. There's nothing wrong with crying... after the game is over. Secondly, this guy is 6-8 and averages like 5 rebounds in college. Given he is a perimeter player and lacks vertical ability, he still doesn't seem like he's much else other than a scorer (His assist numbers are also woeful, but he's the main scorer, so I can't really blame him). I might be going out on a limb here, but he's not a #1 overall guy. I think he might be a solid player in the NBA, but one day someone (probably me) will be saying "Man, I can't believe people thought he was the #1 guy". In any case, if Bosh, Charlie V and Graham is the Raps future, this guy does not fit in.

Final Take: If the Raptors draft Adam Morrison, it will be the worst news you heard since your sister told you she was marrying a black guy. (Unless you're black, in which case it would be the worst news since your sister was marrying a white guy)

3. LaMarcus Aldridge

Basically a beefier Chris Bosh with the effort of a Charlie V. With the deal for Rasho in place, the Raps frontcourt is still somewhat crowded if Aldrige joins the fray. He put up solid rebounding numbers, decent shot-blocking and scoring averages. Still, looking at them, they were still less than the numbers Shelden Williams put up which should be a cause for concern. It's tough to say if he would be a great fit for the Raptors unless he really puts in more effort. Unfortunately, effort can't be taught. As for the chances of the Raps taking him with the number one pick? Coangelo said he liked what he saw. Of course, if you have been reading the newspaper, there hasn't been a pick Coangelo saw and didn't like.

Final Take: I think playing with Bosh may mitigate his weaknesses, but he still probably isn't the best pick.

4. Tyrus Thomas

Project. That's all I have to say. If the Raps want to contend with the Oden lottery, then pick Thomas by all means. He can't shoot well, his offensive game is a total work in progress. On the upside, he does put in effort. His athleticism is a huge asset. He actually wouldn't be a bad fit in the 3/4 spot. Bosh, Charlie and Thomas in the front court could really pose a unique athletic threat similar to Marion, Stoudemire and Richardson.

Final Take: Could be a great piece. Really depends on Toronto's short-term goals.

5. Rudy Gay

Probably the best fit for the Raptors. This guy (along with Brandon Roy) would be the "need" pick. Unfortunately he's had some terrible workouts and hasn't really impressed with his athleticism (conversely, Roy has been putting up numbers beyond scouts' initial expectations). He didn't have a great tournment run, but UConn players tend to be great pros. He put up pretty good rebounding numbers for his position and played effective D. He does have some turnover issues.

Final Take: The #1 at the beginning of the NCAA season has seen his stock drop. Still, he probably has the tools to be a legit player, why pass him up?

The (nearly) Undefeated Champion of the Universe

"Winning this championship is just incredible. First of all, I want to thank God..."
- Any champion of anything

With the NBA Finals and Stanley Cup just finishing, there was no doubt that God was having his share of praise and thanks heaped onto him for helping to bring trophies to Carolina and Miami.

I would venture to say that God is undefeated, but there was one time he was beaten, this year's WWE Backlash Pay-Per-View. My buddy and I were watching Monday Night Raw the other night for the reunion of Degeneration-X (that's right DX is back). He was telling me that leading up to the reunion, Vince McMahon set up a tag-team match that pitted Shane and him against Shawn Michaels and God. Maybe God didn't show up, but Shawn Michaels had the crap kicked out of him.



Possibly God's only defeat


This would leave concrete and the 1972 Miami Dolphins as the only holders of an undefeated record.

There was an interview with Cindy Klassen, the Canadian speed skater who won about 1358 medals at Torino this past winter. She had just won Medal #1270 and during the interview, she just gushed about how much God helped in her medal finishes. Incredibly unfair. God has omnipotent powers, no amount of EPO, HGH, the clear, cream or any assorted steroids can beat that. It's also clear that God was ONLY on the one side, since everyone else lost (except maybe the silver and bronze medalists, but only it's only the Olympics where runners up get something, haven't they ever heard #1 by Nelly?)

Now, you should know, like steroids, you don't NEED God to win. Lance Armstrong says he doesn't believe in religion. Look at who he's beaten: a bunch of French people multiple times (ok, that's not hard, just ask Germany), and cancer (much harder to beat than France). One of those is pretty impressive at least.

Has anyone blamed God for losing though? Something along the lines of the Faith+1 episode of South Park where Cartman yells out "$%^! Jesus" after finding out he can't win a platnium record as a Christian rock artist. Something like a coach saying "We played a great game, but I think it's pretty obvious God screwed us tonight,"

If that ever happened, it would really be one of those moments where we witnessed a champion's incredible fall from grace. It would be like when Mike Tyson got knocked out by Danny Williams and just sat on the ring, completely dazed. Until then, we just have Vince McMahon.

Evolution of a rumor

For anyone who lives in a big market or Toronto, it's inevitable to drown in a torrent of trade talk when it comes to professional sports. At the Jays game on Sunday, the blue birds were getting pounded by the Tigers in a very ugly 6th inning. Trying to move onto a more positive note, we discussed the Raptors' upcoming #1 pick. My buddy Matt was all like "Did you hear about JO for Charlie V and the pick?" which I could only answer with "Nah, just about the CV for Magloire and Mo Williams deal," It seems the ROY runner-up is ripe for picking.


"Did you hear?"

All the talk around Villanueva reminds me of a vacation a few years ago in Florida. Vince Carter, the defending dunk champ and the Raptors were coming off their most successful campaign to date. Turning on the TV and tuning into Sportscenter and BOOM! ESPN drops a bomb; rumors that the Raps were exploring trading VC. It was then revealed to be from the Toronto Sun, the Toronto version of the New York Post, so I dismissed it. Just about anything counts as news in that paper, a couple weeks ago the front page headline was "INTERNET VIRGIN NOT SO INNOCENT..." (no joke, that's what it was)

"No way!! And what do you mean I'm talking into a Sega Genesis?"

Anyhow, it took about 4 years and many disappointing seasons before Toronto Basketball Judas was moved. Toronto is an easy target because it's in Canada and the belief is that you can poach just about anyone from Canada if they aren't playing hockey. After all it's cold and snowy, taxes are high and they show curling on TV all the time. It's so bad in Canada it nearly drove Stevie Franchise to tears. Places like New York and LA are also frequently rumour hotspots although in reverse fashion where they attract just about anyone. By my measure the Lakers should be stacked with Yao, Kobe, Nowitzki, Sam Cassell by now.

How do these rumors come about? In real life, you usually hear about your neighbor's infidelities from some chirpy housewife at a dinner party. As children we just make crap up and yell it out in the playground, "JESSE EATS BOOGERS!" or something to that effect. We don't ask who or what sources led to this information, frankly half the time we dismiss it like the aforementioned report. The media is different though, we hold them to a higher standard. However, a journalist will never reveal the source of their scoop, leading to more anonymous informers than your local crime stoppers hotline. Of course some of the leaks are intentional, teams trying to get the other interested in a the possibility of a deal. It's tough to say it's dishonest, but it would seem to just be a case of schoolyard rumour syndrome.

The whole problem is reporting on rumors in the first place. Since they're rumors, they don't have to be backed up by any real substance besides some friend of a second cousin of a guy who picks up golf balls at a driving range which some GM plays at. It's almost Enquirer-esque. That actually gives me a good idea. I think I'll publish a weekly magazine of transaction rumors. I won't really call around the league. I'll just buy copies of Us weekly, People magazine, and the National Enquirer and use their stories and headlines but replace certain words. For example, replace "Brad Pitt" with "New York Knicks", "Angelina Jolie" with just about any other team, and "Baby Shiloh" with any given superstar on that team like KG. Now we'll try with the NFL, "Britney Spears" with "Washington Redskins", "Kevin Federline" with a given lucrative free agent, and "money sponge" well, we can keep that one...

I'm so on to something...

2007 Basketball Shoe Preview

Here's a treat for all of you on this "auspicious" date, The Double Take becomes The Fashion Take for one day as the big shoe companies let us preview their upcoming shoe line-up for the next season.

First up is AND1.

AND1

Again, AND1 will primarily rely on their "street cred" from their mixtape tours and street ball promotions combined with their shoes being relatively cheap. However, don't think that AND1 doesn't have any NBA ballers in their stable. Included in the AND1 roster is a number of pro ballers including Michael Bradley, Scott Padgett, and Royal Ivey. It was these players that inspired one of AND1's premier shoes for next year, the BENCHWARMER.

The AND1 BENCHWARMER

The AND1 BENCHWARMER contains all the usual features you'd come to expect from a basketball shoe including compression-molded rubber soles for high-performance cushioning. The feature that makes it stand out from the pack though is the Pine veneer accents featured prominently on the shoe. Garbage time players and fans of old-time station wagons alike will be delighted by this one.

Converse

For those looking for an upcoming look at the next Wades, I apologize. However, Converse did send us yet another Chuck Taylor colorway. It's some other shade of green. Exciting!

Converse YACTC (Yet Another Chuck Taylor Colorway)

Nike

For all you Kobe fans, rejoice! Not only is Kobe changing his number to 24 next year, but Nike will also update his signature shoe. The new Kobe will debut yet another innovative technology from the Nike research department. That's right, next year's shoe will feature an On/Off switch which will actually deflate the Zoom Air insoles. Sometimes a game just isn't worth your effort, like the second half of game seven against Phoenix. The product guy tells us that the feature was originally developed for Vince Carter's signature shoes before he was traded to New Jersey from Toronto. Furthermore, most of the New York Knicks squad will be wearing this shoe next season.

Nike Switch technology as used on the Kobe

Reebok

Reebok will look to convince you that it's all about the shoes. Although they wouldn't let us show any pictures, we were allowed to disclose some of the under-the-hood details of next year's Iverson line. As you know, signature shoes are designed with input from the star and a lot of inspiration from their game. The next 'Answer' will be no different. It will be amongst the top shoes on the market, but not quite the best. Changes to Reebok's cushioning system mean that the shoes will make a definite improvement on your game, but can't really take it to the next level. There are a few problems we forsee though. Since your game isn't quite next level you'll never be picked first in a pick-up game. The shoes also look durable enough, but when you wear them they always seem to threaten to fall apart on you.

Adidas

Although it has been said that big men don't sell shoes, Adidas has a pair of big-name big men in their stable, namely KG and TD. The upcoming KG's will be coveted by many, but are rumored to have an exhorbiant asking price. Tim Duncan's signature shoe will be replaced with a pair of Oxfords, time will tell if anyone notices.

Next Year's Duncan signature kicks

That's a wrap! I hope you enjoyed the first and hopefully on the only Fashion Take.

WORLD CUP FEVER

It's summertime, but it's not just Hamburgers on the grill being fired up, cause out in Hamburg, Germany... IT'S WORLD CUP TIME!!!

Ready for the Soca warriors march on to victory? Or Iran reel off some explosive games against their Pool D competition?

No? Well, alright, neither was I.

If Page 2 on ESPN.com is the pulse of the amalgam between American pop culture and sports it would seem that the biggest story out of Germany is Dirk dropping 50 and subsequently Phoenix outta the NBA dance. The World Cup is apparently not even major sidebar material, sorry Trinidad...

It's not like I have a particular vendetta against soccer, it's just I've basically grown-up watching everything but (well, not everything, according to a certain Tracy McGrady, curling is on Canadian television all the time but it has not piqued my interest).

The thing that really gets me is when people who do enjoy it deride North Americans as being so full of themselves because it's the most popular sport in the world (these are usually the people who insist on calling it football even here). Well, newsflash, a lot of the world also does not enjoy things like clean running water or reliable electricity, but I'm not going to see how "awesome" life can be without those things. Last time I checked, the USA had 300 million people, that's a lot of people who don't really like soccer.

People like that remind me of movie and literary critics who thumb their noses at pulp fiction and action movies. Last time I checked though, those guys are writing two-bit columns for some local paper (although I can only wish to be at that level) whereas Oprah is a multibillion dollar woman and Arnold, the governator of Cali. All those art-house snobs can tell me how great a movie about a gay love affair between two cowboys is, but I'm still going to watch X3 (which by the way is pretty good, but the first 30 minutes nearly relapsed me into trauma not suffered since Transformers: The Movie [sidenote 2: Upcoming Live-action Transformers? Stop trivalizing my childhood!]).

So here's to you football snobs, unless the World Cup involves a position called nickel cornerback, with a guy named Roderick Hood playing it, on a team called the Philadelphia Eagles, it's not football to me. Don't correct me either, cause it's just the way it is; it is in most of North America anyway. I realize the hypocritical angle that reeks of the same snobbery I just denounced, but it just makes it easier for them to understand.

Ace in the hole

So a couple weeks ago I went to see the Jays face off against the Angels. Prominently displayed on the ticket was the line “ACE PLUSH TOY GIVEAWAY”. Now I’m a bit too old for collecting stuffed animals, but like everyone else, I’m a free stuff whore. I haven’t had season tickets for the Jays in ten years, but I do remember all my favourite giveaways. There was Coca-Cola hat day, Mr. Sub bag day, Shopper’s Drug Mart calendar day and also team autographed ball day (As an aside, I was doing some spring cleaning the other day and found an autograph ball that I actually used to play with, yeah I had that many). My buddy Devo was a little late so I had to wait outside the gate. It was maybe 15 minutes past start time when we went in when they were out of the stuffed blue jays. I couldn’t believe it. There were maybe 25,000 people watching the game and they were already out.

It’s not so much the toy I care about (although we ended up ‘finding’ one which Devo graciously donated to me cause he thought I was pretty broken up about it), as much as the principle. I can remember being horribly late to Jays games back in the day and always getting whatever they were giving away (except one autographed ball day which my dad and I got there at something like the 4th or 5th inning). I mean the Jays were like literally twice as popular back then and they always had ample supply (at least the first 20,000, which I’m sure we were amongst on Ace giveaway day).

The only greater injustice I can think of is that Playboy with Jessica Alba on the cover and nothing inside. You go into it expecting one thing and coming up totally empty handed. Why is it okay to tempt us poor/greedy people like this? I suppose in some places it’s done on a far greater scale. I can think of New York where they keep pretending they’ll field competitive pro sports teams (Sure, the Yankees are now, but remember the early 90’s?). The Knicks are especially great, remember when they traded Sprewell a couple years back and deemed Keith freakin’ Van Horn the saviour of the franchise? I’m thinking they either hired that Iraqi Minister of Information guy from the Iraq invasion or resurrected Joseph Goebels to do the press conference for that one. That’s quite possibly worse than the absence of topless Alba.

Anyway, in the end the Jays won, I got my Ace, and I don’t have to cheer for the Knicks, so I suppose it turned out alright. The only damper was watching our closer B.J. Ryan getting his first earned run of the season. He came in the top of the eighth and I turned to Devo and gave him the ol’ “what the hell?” He could only reply “hell if I know”. Apparently Gibbons thought he was due for an extra inning that game.

It’s Devo’s birthday today (technically yesterday) so wish him a good one.

Like A.J. Burnett, I’m out.