Stupid Coach Tricks

While watching the Bengals-Patriots debacle, they showed a short featuring a Cincy offensive lineman with a shovel. Apparently this shovel symbolizes "the need to dig deep". What is with these strange motivational tactics coaches come up with? Remember Pat Riley and the bowl full of NBA championship stickers? To this day I still don't really understand how it relates to winning. At least the shovel thing makes sense, shovels are for digging, but championship stickers in a bowl? Sticking? Bowling? I guess championing? The whole thing makes less sense than a drunken Jake the Snake monologue.

There's some other classics too. One of my favourites was Jack Del Rio's wood chopping thing in the locker room. After Jacksonville fell to an 0 - 3 start in 2003. Jack brought in a tree stump and an axe to the locker room. The motto? "Keep Chopping Wood". Yes, you read that correctly. Eventually the whole thing came to an end when the punter, Chris Hanson chopped his own leg opening a huge gash. I suppose the worst that could happen with a sticker is getting some adhesive in your eye.

Other Happenings around the league:

T.O.'s non-attempted suicide
If he was depressed, it was probably because of Drew Bledsoe. Maybe Drew felt responsible for what happened and tried his best not to suck this week.

Vince Young starting QB
I'm taking a human resources course. When you bring in a QB with no history with the coordinator or coach and make him the starter, it's called called constructive dismissal. Billy Volek could sue. Of course he's still getting paid millions, so I guess it's not so bad. Anyway, who didn't see young starting?

Matt Leinhart taking over from Warner
To this day, who knows how Warner got those Super Bowls, do you?

Jerome Bettis on 'The Office'
This has nothing to do with the NFL really. I just saw the season premiere of the show and it was hilarious. The whole thing with coming out of the closet and calling people 'faggy'? Comedy gold.

Shaun Alexander and the Madden Curse
It's about time they put some lovable white dude on the cover. Someone like Tom Brady. Really, I just want to see Brady get hurt. God, I hate him, Bill Belichick and their sex slave Bill Simmons.

Culpepper loses against the Texans
Daunte, baby... this is the Texans. Did you see what Brunell did to them? This was your chance to have a career day and silence critics. Sure your O-Line is awful, but you blew it. It'll be fun to see Joey Harrington play with a team that tries though.

Before I'm out, let me tell you something. The most exciting time of the year is coming. My buddy Matt just sent out an email about out yearly fantasy basketball pool. That means the football and basketball season will overlap and females around North America will be ordering those seasons of 'Sex in the City' on DVD that they don't have yet. Awesome!