The (nearly) Undefeated Champion of the Universe

"Winning this championship is just incredible. First of all, I want to thank God..."
- Any champion of anything

With the NBA Finals and Stanley Cup just finishing, there was no doubt that God was having his share of praise and thanks heaped onto him for helping to bring trophies to Carolina and Miami.

I would venture to say that God is undefeated, but there was one time he was beaten, this year's WWE Backlash Pay-Per-View. My buddy and I were watching Monday Night Raw the other night for the reunion of Degeneration-X (that's right DX is back). He was telling me that leading up to the reunion, Vince McMahon set up a tag-team match that pitted Shane and him against Shawn Michaels and God. Maybe God didn't show up, but Shawn Michaels had the crap kicked out of him.



Possibly God's only defeat


This would leave concrete and the 1972 Miami Dolphins as the only holders of an undefeated record.

There was an interview with Cindy Klassen, the Canadian speed skater who won about 1358 medals at Torino this past winter. She had just won Medal #1270 and during the interview, she just gushed about how much God helped in her medal finishes. Incredibly unfair. God has omnipotent powers, no amount of EPO, HGH, the clear, cream or any assorted steroids can beat that. It's also clear that God was ONLY on the one side, since everyone else lost (except maybe the silver and bronze medalists, but only it's only the Olympics where runners up get something, haven't they ever heard #1 by Nelly?)

Now, you should know, like steroids, you don't NEED God to win. Lance Armstrong says he doesn't believe in religion. Look at who he's beaten: a bunch of French people multiple times (ok, that's not hard, just ask Germany), and cancer (much harder to beat than France). One of those is pretty impressive at least.

Has anyone blamed God for losing though? Something along the lines of the Faith+1 episode of South Park where Cartman yells out "$%^! Jesus" after finding out he can't win a platnium record as a Christian rock artist. Something like a coach saying "We played a great game, but I think it's pretty obvious God screwed us tonight,"

If that ever happened, it would really be one of those moments where we witnessed a champion's incredible fall from grace. It would be like when Mike Tyson got knocked out by Danny Williams and just sat on the ring, completely dazed. Until then, we just have Vince McMahon.