The Double Post (It's that long!): More Unsolicited Commentary

Where to start? It's been a crazy week in sports with all the overlap going on, so I suppose I'll start with basketball. Since it's the preseason, it's like the introduction to the season and it can be the introduction to this.

First, there's the Raps. Still undefeated. I went to a preseason game with Devo on Sunday and they beat the Cleveland Lebrons (If Kobe with the Anaheim games is any indication of negotiations to come, Lebron will be in a postion to demand that the team that he signs his next contract with rename the franchise after him). Fred Jones looks better and better every game. Why Colangelo even bothered to look at someone sharing a name with a popular bagel topping ingredient is beyond me. The bench looks strong, keeping fairly close with the Cleveland starters. There's no doubt in my mind that the playoffs are in reach.

Another question that begs to be asked is why Utah traded Kris Humphries for Rafael Araujo. Humphries might have not shown much in Utah, but at least he's a warm body capable of playing basketball. Don't get me wrong, it's the preseason, so I'm not sold yet. However, Araujo is no better than a oversized corpse. I think I saw more dunks by Humphries yesterday than Crappa Araujo ever threw down in his Raptors career. I wouldn't quite call it a steal yet because who knows how much time Humphries will get come the regular season, but man, Araujo...

Second is this report about Sebastian Telfair being involved in the shooting of the rapper Fabolous. There's a few possible explanations I can think of. First, maybe Danny Ainge forgot to tell him he's a Celtic now and they just do things differently in Boston than in Portland. It's also possible that he just didn't like Fabolous' last album as much as his debut. Quite understandable, it wasn't as good. He's working on a new one that's supposed to be released in the near future, so maybe Sebastian is just giving him a hip-hop reminder to improve. The last possible explanation would be to further distance himself from cousin Starbury. "I can shoot someone, but I'm still less poisonous to a team than my cousin". Furthermore, who wants to even be remotely associated with the New York Knicks these days?

Moving on, we had a pretty unremarkable week in the NFL... UNLESS YOU COUNT A FREAKIN' 62 YARD GAME WINNING FIELD GOAL. What the heck!? Maybe it's not going to be the Eagles' year again? Seriously, that was unbelievable. I don't even know what else to say. These are the Eagles, not the Cardinals... different birds... different birds...

Besides that, a bunch of people were suspended including Koren Robinson for the entire year which sparked a Brett Favre tirade. Shawne Merriman is also out for four games for taking steroids. That's right, Koren Robinson has one too many beers and now can't even workout with his teammates, while Shawne Merriman cheats and will be back in a month. In any case, I suppose now we know the secret ingredient to his defensive rookie of the year performance. The Colonel's blend 11 herbs and spices are next. Those pieces of chicken are damn big, Chicken Growth Hormone anyone?

With regards to football north, that is the CFL. I'm looking to go to the last game of the Argos regular season to watch Ricky Williams play. There's a deal at Popeye's for like 15 pieces of chicken, 10 biscuits and 4 tickets for like 30 bucks. If anyone knows what to do with about like 5 extra biscuits, do tell.

Also in Canada. I was informed by Devin that the University of Toronto Varsity Blues yet again let their opponents score more than 300 points against them. He played on the team in 2000 and that year they set a new record, which has since been shattered like 5 times in the past 6 years. Yay alma matter!

Since we're on the subject of Canada, there's some Hockey news. Bobby Clarke and his crony Ken Hitchcock are out in Philly. It's funny because I was just discussing with my buddy like last week about how "Bobby Clarke has been GM forever". It makes me think, maybe I should've said "Babcock has been the Raps GM for a while now" when he was around to have got things in motion sooner. In any case John Ferguson Jr has been GM for a while now... Seriously, can you forgive this man for that Owen Nolan trade? I would go as far as to say it would be hard for Jesus to forgive him. Like He would, being the Son of God and all, but it wouldn't be easy.

Finally, to close, we have the World Series. First, a girl I know who lives in Michigan but orignally came from Asia went to a bar in Downtown Detroit to watch the Tigers. She told me she was really scared. I told her, "Are you really surprised? It's a slum that might rival Calcutta".

Anyway, Kenny Rogers had a dirt like substance on his hand in the first innning. There's no way High-Def TV can miss stuff like that when it picks up stuff like Lindsay Lohan's freckles and Cameron Diaz's acne scarring. In the first inning his pitches were "doing interesting things". He washed it off after the 1st and proceeded to still pitch 7 more scoreless innings, so the biggest deal is probably "what kind of controversy can we make up to make sure people watch?" This also reminds me of the time in high school my friend observed someone eating a sandwich with dirty hands and asked "Don't you wash your hands before you eat?" and the guy replied "Oh that's from work", as if that explained everything. "From work", as in the day before. That only raised more questions.

In any case, for all you fellow Jays boosters out there, Joltin' Joe Carter's home run off Mitch Williams was #5 on ESPN.com's greatest baseball playoff performances. (Does that make Mitch Williams' one of the worst?)

'Till next time, I'm out like Mark Foley from the closet. (No Homo)