Killing the Big Man

Last week little Nate Robinson blocked Yao Ming. Most people will call it clean, many will argue otherwise. Either way, nothing was called and the block is on the books. If you still don't believe it, you can watch the 200 videos people posted on YouTube. In being a bit of a Yao Ming apologist, being blocked by a smaller guy happens all the time. I know I stuffed some guy at the gym who was taller, but I guess he wasn't like 2 feet taller.

I then looked at the comments posted. Most consisted of the "LOLZ! stupid giant chinaman get stuffed, GO NATE DOG" along with the "Get a life, the Knicks lost and still suck" replies. There were also had related videos such as "Eddy Curry Destroys Yao Ming". The comments were even more hilarious. The video was about a year old so there was stuff like "Proof Eddy will dominate the L in a year", "Emerging as the #1 big man", pure comedy gold. The replies were just as good, "Great, That was one of his 6 points in the game", "Get a life, the Knicks lost and still suck", that one seems to come up a lot. After reading those comments and seeing the title of the Curry video, I first thought "Man, that shit is almost as racist as Kramer". I mean let's face it, Curry isn't destroying anything except the future of the Knicks. Then I watched the Kramer video again, laughed my ass off and thought "Damn, I got to be kidding myself, it's not even close, but it's still racist".

Then I looking up stuff on Google when I was presented with a torrent of more Nate Robinson embarassing Yao tripe. It was then I realized, "This shit isn't racism, people don't hate Yao cause he's Chinese, people hate him because he's a centre". It should have been so obvious. Looking at other big men, it's no wonder why they dump the hatorade over Yao. As much respect as Dwight Howard has in the league and in the rags, Amare sans knee is still getting more love. Sure, he plays on a better team, but Howard is putting up 20-20 games. It's simple though, Amare is routinely throwing down highlight reel dunks whereas Dwight plays a very deliberate (read: boring) low-post game. And both these guys are niggers. ("Oh it shocks you doesn't it, it shocks you... what lies buried," that honestly was one of the greatest moments in the history of internet media)

I wondered how I could've overlooked this. I, being one of the Iverson generation of hoopsters. When I was a young buck, we'd all be on the court impersonating our favourite guards. "I'm just like Starbury, you can't stop me" (What a mistake that turned out to be) or even "Oh I just went (Damon) Stoudimire on you". No one ever pretended to be Hakeem or even KG. Olajuwon won two freakin' championships! That's basically the root of the problem. Because of MJ, the backcourt and swingmen are the glam positions. People believe big guys aren't ncessary to carry the team. Of course, since MJ, championship names like Shaq and Duncan keep coming up (That's another problem altogether, the fact that Duncan is about as exciting a rotting corpse). The search for the next MJ has been a lot more exciting than the search for the next Kareem. The sorts of names on the headstones of "next MJ" graveyard are littered with highlight reelers like Vince Carter. While the neighboring cemetary has luminaries such as Marcus Camby and Eric Montross buried there.

No doubt there's some hate of Yao because he's yellow, because he's not from 'round here, because he doesn't speak english very well. But I don't really think it's any more than people wanting to see him go down because he was picked #1 with a lot of hype. In the meantime we'll all have to put up with videos of Yao being blocked by a guy who had so many attempts in the dunk contest last year he made "Birdman" Chris Andersen look like he just eased into things.

(I don't care how short and how much people love what he did, 14 attempts, that's getting to WNBA levels...)

No Fantasy

Before I get started, let me apologize for the abortion of a formatting job last time. I tried to do some fancy webpage stuff but it blew up in my face like a Humvee in Iraq. Let this be a lesson to you, don't try to do anything new, you'll just screw up and regret it.

Fantasy, the word implies something magical. Something wonderful and amazing. Which makes you wonder why you have they call it "fantasy sports". I suppose it's because people always dream about being a GM, but how often are you left feeling positive when you play.

Basketball season has started, which means fantasy basketball has too. Anyone who drafted Boris Diaw or Gerald Wallace, solid 3rd round guys. are pretty upset right now. Then you're playing Rasheed Wallace one week, who you figure is going to be ejected 25 times this season, and he's dropping 25 points, 4 blocks and something crazy on you.

Hockey season has been going on for a while and my buddy has this gem to share on MSN: "How my goalies got their groove back: Me not starting any of them ... figures they both play amazing", how many times have we thought the same thing?

Then there's the ballad of Ocho Cinco. Everyone drafted him high but Carson Palmer and the Bengals have been bungling and CJ just hasn't seen the end zone very often. This also disappoints fans of Dancing with the Stars because if he isn't able to showcase his moves, he might lose that lock in 7 years if the show is still around.

They really should come up with a new name for leagues. "Misery Basketball" or "Frustration Football" are some candidates I thought of.

Surgeon General's Warning: Fantasy Sports may cause irreversible brain damage and hair loss. It might also contribute to unforseen bowel movements.