2nd Chance Pointers

Ricky Williams is in Toronto to play for the Argos. I can finally feel at home wearing my bright orange #34 Miami Dolphins jersey around town now, almost (it’s still freakin’ Day-Glo orange after all). Just the other day, Joe Thiesmann, ex-NFL and CFL star called the Argos’ sigining of Ricky “a disgrace,” and that “He’s been given too many chances”. When I hear something like “too many chances”, I immediately think of the 4th season of 24. It’s the one with Habib Marwan launching terrorist attack after terrorist attack. “Assassinating the president by stealing a stealth fighter didn’t quite do the job? Time for Marwan backup plan #236, launching a nuclear missile at Los Angeles.” (The guy was so well-prepared, he was like the Belichick of terrorists). Anyway, the point is, how do you define too many chances? It seems unfair, not just because he’s talented, but because people always say “never give up”. By saying someone has had too many chances, you are essentially giving up on that person.

The types of people that don’t get second chances in society are usually killers. Had Ricky Williams killed someone, I certainly would not be writing this. How bad is a little dope smoking anyway? I would imagine Jamal Lewis trying to sell a few pounds of cocaine being somewhat worse. We say Ricky Williams is a bad example for the kids, but imagine if the Baltimore Ravens lived on your street. You’d have Jamal selling coke to your little boy and your neighbor getting stabbed in Jamal Lewis’ car.

I realize it’s not the first time and that’s a big deal. However, last time I checked Jesus died 2000 years ago and nobody’s perfect.

The Battle of "Insert place here"

So if you've been following the hoops hype, you'll know that there was lots said about the once possible "Battle of L.A.", the so-called "hallway series". No away games for either team.

If you're a hockey fan (and I know there's at least 6 of you out there in the contininental United States, not including Canadian Joe, because well, he's from Canada after all), then you probably heard the "Battle of Alberta" hype.

Really, at what point was this ever interesting? I don't think it ever was. Real rivaries are not based on geographical boundaries. If we suddenly called a game between the Seattle Sonics and the Portland Trailblazers "The Battle of the Pacific Northwest" does it become any better? Possibly in the mind of marketers. Ultimately it would still be a matchup between 2 terrible teams, with the highlight being "Will Darius Miles launch a Sprewell-easque attack against Nate McMillian after Ray Allen hits a 3rd consecutive 3 point shot?".

Let's get back to hockey for a moment here. Look at the Senators-Leafs rivalry. There is a certain amount of geography involved, I can't deny it completely, but the main driving factor was really "Why can't a talented young Ottawa squad beat the Toronto geriatric all-stars?". There is a liberal amount of "Man, I hope stuck-up, snobby Toronto gets theirs handed to them," but hey, the whole country wishes that, not just Ottawa. Really, no one in Toronto cares what's going on in Ottawa beyond possible tax relief, it's barely a city some nearly 600 km away (Hey, who are you calling stuck up?).

Basically, what it comes to is this: it's only a geographical battle when there's nothing else behind it. Do you hear anyone touting "The Battle of Texas" for the San Antonio-Dallas series? It's just going to be two good teams (plus Mark Cuban's usual crazy antics) slugging it out. Now there was a certain amount of novelty in the L.A. series since they share the same building, but was there any question that the Clippers are probably are far more balanced team than the Lakers?

Battle for L.A. sounds like some bad Kurt Russell movie anyway.

Charley Casserley writes a letter to Matt Millen

Dear Matt,

Hey man, how are ya? Just relaxing over the draft? You had it easy with only getting the #9 pick this year, I had to deal with a #1 again, you know how that is.

Everyone said I was just posturing, but I proved them all wrong. “Reggie Bush is one of the most explosive players,”, “Vince Young is a hometown hero,” I didn’t listen to any of it. I did it, I took Mario Williams over all of them.

People are already second-guessing me, calling for me to be fired; it just goes to show how much they know. You know that. Being a good GM, where does it get you? A good GM never has job security. You have one bad run, and you’re shown the door. A bad GM, that’s where it’s at. I mean, just look around major league sports for guys who are constantly being lampooned but are still employed, Isiah Thomas, Elgin Baylor, yourself (Man, you probably really disappointed Santonio Holmes, bet he was totally ready to be a Lion). Kevin McHale, that guy lost like 7 draft picks signing Joe Smith to a massive under the table contract and he’s still going strong. Don’t be too comfy with where you are though Matt, I’m coming after you.

You know the deal; you really don’t have to win games to get attention. That can be really rough. It’s way easier to lose. A terrible loser gets just as much exposure as a great winner. I mean, how else can the your Lions and those Cardinals still manage to build new stadiums? The NFL is especially great; the marketing machine has made every football game and team into a “must-see” attraction. Terrible teams still sell-out, why be good?

What if we’re 8-8? We become another mediocre team that probably isn’t in the playoffs. That’s it, no high draft pick, no championship chance, nothing. Win just 2 games and everyone’s buzzing. Who are the Texans going to take? Can they get worse?

This number one pick, it really could be a monumental bust, exactly what I’m trying to pull with Mario. He probably won’t be Ryan Leaf, but busts like that are once a lifetime. People don’t ever stop talking about mistakes like this. “Biggest mistake since Bowie over Jordan,” I’m already famous, is anyone even talking about the guys Philly or New England drafted? I’m hoping Mario will at least turn out as well as Joey did for you.

That’s it, I’m set for life. No expectations, no need to plan picks anymore. Thanks Matt for all your help. (P.S. Good luck on building your team of 22 Wide Receivers, we'll see if there's better ones next year).

Your Pal,

Charley