The real technology of sports

So the other day, I'm going to buy a new cell phone. I always try to avoid the salespeople pestering you about some weird feature that I don't really care about. "Transflash card? No, I like being male just fine, thank you very much..." (Note: I actually do know what that is) Anyway, while the guy is activating my new phone, he pulls out his own (which is the same model) to show me a few features. One thing he showed me were ESPN mobile clips. Then he looked at my plan and told me I didn't have the unlimited data, so that would cost a lot if I did that. So I bite the bullet and now pay an extra 10 bucks per month. Good thing he showed me the ESPN clips and not TSN (we're in Canada afterall), because the last thing I need are video highlights of Eric Lindros mowing his lawn during hockey's off-season on my phone.

It made me realize how pervasive technology is in sports. Anyone watch the US Open? This year was the debut of a NFL-style instant replay challenge system, except it's even fancier, believe it or not. When a player challenges a call of where the ball landed, a computer generated video clip of the play is shown on the big screen, along with multiple angles of the shot. It is often accompanied by a lot of oohing and ahhing from the gallery.

Every game has this high-tech angle. Adidas has a basketball shoe which contains a microchip that can adjust the level of cushioning the shoe delievers. I was in an optical shop and they were hawking some Nike contacts which improves contrast levels, good for baseball players, or terrible golfers who can't follow or find the ball.

It's getting pretty ridiculous. That is, the way we persecute poor Barry Bonds and Floyd Landis. They're merely taking the next step in sports technology. People are people. I'm sure we can push the human race to run a sub 9.7 100 m sprint without drugs, but what are you going to do about it? Force the men's and women's world record holders to breed? We should welcome the steroid-era with open arms instead of being so afraid of change. Eventually we'll get tired of the 70 Home Run Plateau. With drugs, guys could be hitting a hundred dingers a season, who wouldn't go watch baseball? You thought basketball players were athletic? You ain't see nothin' yet... I'm reminded of an ancient SNL skit where they had a "Steroid Olympics" and one of the opening lines was something along the lines of "... already over a dozen world records have been shattered..." All I'm saying is, there's a reason is took like 15 years to beat Ben Johnson's Seoul record.

I for one, welcome our new pharmaceutical overlords...