The Toronto Sports Wasteland Revival

What's this? Sleepy Toronto, the city I call home makes waves in the sports media with two top stories? Insanity! If you haven't already heard, because you had a heart attack before you heard the radio or watched the television this morning, the Leafs fired Pat Quinn and Chris Bosh said he's extending his contract with the Raptors.

I should've seen this coming though when the Jays spent all that money in the off-season; unseen forces are at work in this city and I'm dually afraid and optimistic at what this all could mean. It's almost like in X-Men, the mutants could be heroes like the X-Men or be terribly evil like Magneto.

What does this all mean for this city? We might be partying like it's 1992 or 93 when the Jays win the World Series this year. Then we'll get the news that Ralph Wilson is going to sell the Bills to local mogul Paul Godfrey who is moving the franchise to TO. This will promptly be followed by the trade of Rafael Araujo to the Knicks for their 2007 first-rounder and an undisclosed sum of cash. With the piece of dead weight removed from the Raptors, along with Vince Carter's return (to his old, hobbling self in New Jersey), they sneak to the top of the Atlantic. A fortunate turn of events in the playoffs occur and they beat the Memphis Grizzlies in 6 to win the NBA championship.

Of course, another scenario is the Leafs winning the Stanley Cup next year. This initally seems like a blessing; 40 years of futility finally come to an end. If you thought the Red Sox and White Sox were something, hockey-crazed Toronto sets a new precedent. Pandemonium breaks loose, people are all over the street. Suddenly fires start, police are called out, but there are just too many people and it's totally out of control. Violence ensues, black people are seen looting, while white people are merely finding items that were discarded conveniently. A few hours later as savagery ensues, a huge asteroid is spotted as heading for a collision course with Earth (Think Armageddon), but because all the Space Shuttles have been grounded, the planet is doomed.

2 scenarios, neither more likely than the other. Well, except for the first part of the first scenario where the Jays win the World Series. That is a possibility, but I balanced it with the Raptors winning an NBA Championship. Lord knows, Bosh signing and the firing of Pat Quinn are very small steps in making these franchises look promising. Here's to hope though, except in Arizona, where you're all still doomed.