The Mike James Bible

In a recent Toronto Star article, Raptors free agent-to-be point guard Mike James compared himself to Jesus.

I’ve taken the liberty to highlight some appropriate bible passages that might help us understand his holiness better.

Matthew 5:10
“Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

In this bible verse, we are told that good character on Earth will net us great rewards in heaven. Mike James feels persecuted, never before having the kind of playing time he felt he deserved. His reward? Heaven… 6 to 9 million dollars a year.

Matthew 5:44
“But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,”

Jesus teaches us to love your enemies. It is clear that Mike James also preaches the same Gospel. Let his ill-advised 3 point attempts and fourth quarter turnovers testify to this. Clearly he loves his opponents as much as his own teammates.

James 2:26
“As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead”

For those unfamiliar with this passage, it’s the famous ‘faith and works’ passage of the bible. That is, for salvation, you must believe, and also act accordingly. The people of Toronto will just have to believe that Mike James will keep putting in 20 points a game despite being 30 years old. The accompanying act is that nice contract.

Luke 12:20-21
"But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?'
"This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God."

This is taken from the parable of the rich fool; it is telling us that wealth is not all material. Do you really think Mike James is playing for the money? That’s ludicrous. If he was, do you really think he would have thrown away all those games?

Matthew 4:23
“Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people.”

We’ll close off with this, after all it’s the theme of Mike James’ comparison. Even with acts like this, Jesus was killed. Mike James can’t cure SARS (no longer a problem in Toronto for those that are curious, and neither is leprosy); he can only give it his all on his court. Just like Mark Blount, Stromile Swift and Erick Dampier did after signing their big contracts. Besides, he’s still less crazy than Rafer Alston was, right?